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DBAreactions

My webcam is on, and it keeps capturing my reactions.

When they ask for access and you offer them 1% cpu and 10 IOPS in resource governor

The Public
2023-03-07

Anonymous

Continue Reading When they ask for access and you offer them 1% cpu and 10 IOPS in resource governor

The number of IP Addresses you need when you move to AWS

The Public
2023-02-22

Anomynous

Continue Reading The number of IP Addresses you need when you move to AWS

The DBA after they ask you to explain what a stored procedure is.

The Public
2022-12-21

Anonymous

Continue Reading The DBA after they ask you to explain what a stored procedure is.

Pointing to the open case we created a while ago for the dev team when they ask why the database was inaccessible

The Public
2022-12-13

Anomynous

Continue Reading Pointing to the open case we created a while ago for the dev team when they ask why the database was inaccessible

Recycling hardware due to supply chain

The Public
2022-11-07

Anomynous

Continue Reading Recycling hardware due to supply chain

When all of your servers turn off at the same time because someone scheduled Windows updates in the middle of the day

The Public
2022-07-28

Greg

Continue Reading When all of your servers turn off at the same time because someone scheduled Windows updates in the middle of the day

When the 3rd party vendor asks why their application is inserting 1000’s of records per second

The Public
2022-05-10

Anonymous

Continue Reading When the 3rd party vendor asks why their application is inserting 1000’s of records per second

when you kill the session

The Public
2022-04-27

Anonymous

Continue Reading when you kill the session

When you’re about to send a long email explaining why there’s a network issue, and then you find you have threadpool waits

The Public
2022-04-19

Anonymous

Continue Reading When you’re about to send a long email explaining why there’s a network issue, and then you find you have threadpool waits

What I tell people I do for work…

The Public
2022-02-12

Anonymous

Continue Reading What I tell people I do for work…

The recently purchased application does everything row by row from a front end, and inserts every the text of every SQL statement into a logging table prior to execution. Even SELECTs. And the whole thing is done in serializable isolation.

The Public
2022-01-07

Anonymous

Continue Reading The recently purchased application does everything row by row from a front end, and inserts every the text of every SQL statement into a logging table prior to execution. Even SELECTs. And the whole thing is done in serializable isolation.

When an contracters company builds a DWH completely in C# without me as dba warn the department, and now they complain about performance issues.

The Public
2021-12-07

Anonymous

Continue Reading When an contracters company builds a DWH completely in C# without me as dba warn the department, and now they complain about performance issues.

Hoping the error that happens every night will just fix itself

The Public
2021-11-23

Greg Dodd

Continue Reading Hoping the error that happens every night will just fix itself

The server whose modernization migration keeps getting delayed.

The Public
2021-11-23

Jason F

Continue Reading The server whose modernization migration keeps getting delayed.

When your network team deletes the AD user running SQL Server

The Public
2021-11-10

Anonymous

Continue Reading When your network team deletes the AD user running SQL Server

When you fixed an index so that a query that runs 10 times every second now returns in 2ms instead of 5 seconds

The Public
2021-11-08

Greg Dodd

Continue Reading When you fixed an index so that a query that runs 10 times every second now returns in 2ms instead of 5 seconds

When you find out that your backup server has faster storage than SQL

The Public
2021-11-07

Greg Dodd

Continue Reading When you find out that your backup server has faster storage than SQL

The server whose modernization migration keeps getting delayed.

The Public
2021-10-28

Jason F

Continue Reading The server whose modernization migration keeps getting delayed.

How I feel when I automate database tasks (backups hmm hmm)

The Public
2021-08-11

SQLing4ever

Continue Reading How I feel when I automate database tasks (backups hmm hmm)

When the dev doesn’t know what to do and reverts to his default mode of operation.

The Public
2021-06-23

Skoomasteve

Continue Reading When the dev doesn’t know what to do and reverts to his default mode of operation.