When they ask for access and you offer them 1% cpu and 10 IOPS in resource governorThe Public2023-03-07Anonymous Continue Reading When they ask for access and you offer them 1% cpu and 10 IOPS in resource governor The number of IP Addresses you need when you move to AWSThe Public2023-02-22Anomynous Continue Reading The number of IP Addresses you need when you move to AWS The DBA after they ask you to explain what a stored procedure is.The Public2022-12-21Anonymous Continue Reading The DBA after they ask you to explain what a stored procedure is. Pointing to the open case we created a while ago for the dev team when they ask why the database was inaccessibleThe Public2022-12-13Anomynous Continue Reading Pointing to the open case we created a while ago for the dev team when they ask why the database was inaccessible Recycling hardware due to supply chainThe Public2022-11-07Anomynous Continue Reading Recycling hardware due to supply chain When all of your servers turn off at the same time because someone scheduled Windows updates in the middle of the dayThe Public2022-07-28Greg Continue Reading When all of your servers turn off at the same time because someone scheduled Windows updates in the middle of the day When the 3rd party vendor asks why their application is inserting 1000’s of records per secondThe Public2022-05-10Anonymous Continue Reading When the 3rd party vendor asks why their application is inserting 1000’s of records per second when you kill the sessionThe Public2022-04-27Anonymous Continue Reading when you kill the session When you’re about to send a long email explaining why there’s a network issue, and then you find you have threadpool waitsThe Public2022-04-19Anonymous Continue Reading When you’re about to send a long email explaining why there’s a network issue, and then you find you have threadpool waits What I tell people I do for work…The Public2022-02-12Anonymous Continue Reading What I tell people I do for work… The recently purchased application does everything row by row from a front end, and inserts every the text of every SQL statement into a logging table prior to execution. Even SELECTs. And the whole thing is done in serializable isolation.The Public2022-01-07Anonymous Continue Reading The recently purchased application does everything row by row from a front end, and inserts every the text of every SQL statement into a logging table prior to execution. Even SELECTs. And the whole thing is done in serializable isolation. When an contracters company builds a DWH completely in C# without me as dba warn the department, and now they complain about performance issues.The Public2021-12-07Anonymous Continue Reading When an contracters company builds a DWH completely in C# without me as dba warn the department, and now they complain about performance issues. Hoping the error that happens every night will just fix itselfThe Public2021-11-23Greg Dodd Continue Reading Hoping the error that happens every night will just fix itself The server whose modernization migration keeps getting delayed.The Public2021-11-23Jason F Continue Reading The server whose modernization migration keeps getting delayed. When your network team deletes the AD user running SQL ServerThe Public2021-11-10Anonymous Continue Reading When your network team deletes the AD user running SQL Server When you fixed an index so that a query that runs 10 times every second now returns in 2ms instead of 5 secondsThe Public2021-11-08Greg Dodd Continue Reading When you fixed an index so that a query that runs 10 times every second now returns in 2ms instead of 5 seconds When you find out that your backup server has faster storage than SQLThe Public2021-11-07Greg Dodd Continue Reading When you find out that your backup server has faster storage than SQL The server whose modernization migration keeps getting delayed.The Public2021-10-28Jason F Continue Reading The server whose modernization migration keeps getting delayed. How I feel when I automate database tasks (backups hmm hmm)The Public2021-08-11SQLing4ever Continue Reading How I feel when I automate database tasks (backups hmm hmm) When the dev doesn’t know what to do and reverts to his default mode of operation.The Public2021-06-23Skoomasteve Continue Reading When the dev doesn’t know what to do and reverts to his default mode of operation.
When they ask for access and you offer them 1% cpu and 10 IOPS in resource governorThe Public2023-03-07Anonymous Continue Reading When they ask for access and you offer them 1% cpu and 10 IOPS in resource governor
The number of IP Addresses you need when you move to AWSThe Public2023-02-22Anomynous Continue Reading The number of IP Addresses you need when you move to AWS
The DBA after they ask you to explain what a stored procedure is.The Public2022-12-21Anonymous Continue Reading The DBA after they ask you to explain what a stored procedure is.
Pointing to the open case we created a while ago for the dev team when they ask why the database was inaccessibleThe Public2022-12-13Anomynous Continue Reading Pointing to the open case we created a while ago for the dev team when they ask why the database was inaccessible
Recycling hardware due to supply chainThe Public2022-11-07Anomynous Continue Reading Recycling hardware due to supply chain
When all of your servers turn off at the same time because someone scheduled Windows updates in the middle of the dayThe Public2022-07-28Greg Continue Reading When all of your servers turn off at the same time because someone scheduled Windows updates in the middle of the day
When the 3rd party vendor asks why their application is inserting 1000’s of records per secondThe Public2022-05-10Anonymous Continue Reading When the 3rd party vendor asks why their application is inserting 1000’s of records per second
When you’re about to send a long email explaining why there’s a network issue, and then you find you have threadpool waitsThe Public2022-04-19Anonymous Continue Reading When you’re about to send a long email explaining why there’s a network issue, and then you find you have threadpool waits
What I tell people I do for work…The Public2022-02-12Anonymous Continue Reading What I tell people I do for work…
The recently purchased application does everything row by row from a front end, and inserts every the text of every SQL statement into a logging table prior to execution. Even SELECTs. And the whole thing is done in serializable isolation.The Public2022-01-07Anonymous Continue Reading The recently purchased application does everything row by row from a front end, and inserts every the text of every SQL statement into a logging table prior to execution. Even SELECTs. And the whole thing is done in serializable isolation.
When an contracters company builds a DWH completely in C# without me as dba warn the department, and now they complain about performance issues.The Public2021-12-07Anonymous Continue Reading When an contracters company builds a DWH completely in C# without me as dba warn the department, and now they complain about performance issues.
Hoping the error that happens every night will just fix itselfThe Public2021-11-23Greg Dodd Continue Reading Hoping the error that happens every night will just fix itself
The server whose modernization migration keeps getting delayed.The Public2021-11-23Jason F Continue Reading The server whose modernization migration keeps getting delayed.
When your network team deletes the AD user running SQL ServerThe Public2021-11-10Anonymous Continue Reading When your network team deletes the AD user running SQL Server
When you fixed an index so that a query that runs 10 times every second now returns in 2ms instead of 5 secondsThe Public2021-11-08Greg Dodd Continue Reading When you fixed an index so that a query that runs 10 times every second now returns in 2ms instead of 5 seconds
When you find out that your backup server has faster storage than SQLThe Public2021-11-07Greg Dodd Continue Reading When you find out that your backup server has faster storage than SQL
The server whose modernization migration keeps getting delayed.The Public2021-10-28Jason F Continue Reading The server whose modernization migration keeps getting delayed.
How I feel when I automate database tasks (backups hmm hmm)The Public2021-08-11SQLing4ever Continue Reading How I feel when I automate database tasks (backups hmm hmm)
When the dev doesn’t know what to do and reverts to his default mode of operation.The Public2021-06-23Skoomasteve Continue Reading When the dev doesn’t know what to do and reverts to his default mode of operation.
